Glossary of Dating Terms

ATTRACTION
The act of associating horniness with a particular person.

DATING
The process of spending enormous amounts of money, time, and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don't especially like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future.

EASY
A term used to describe a woman who has the morals of a man.

EYE CONTACT
A method utilized by a woman to communicate to a man that she is interested in him. Despite being advised to do so, many women have difficulty looking a man directly in the eyes, due to the fact that a woman's eyes are not located in her chest.

FRIEND
A member of the opposite sex in your acquaintance who has some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing.

INDIFFERENCE
A woman's feeling towards a man, which is interpreted by the man as "playing hard to get."

IRRITATING HABIT
What the endearing little qualities that initially attract two people to each other turn into after a few months together.

LAW OF RELATIVITY
How attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportionate to how unattractive your date is.

LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT
What occurs when two extremely horny, but not entirely choosy, people meet.

NYMPHOMANIAC
A man's term for a woman who wants to do it more often than he does.

SOBER
A condition in which it is almost impossible to fall in love, which is why bars are popular meeting places.