The Dirty Joke Page

The Leprechauns and the Nun

Two leprechauns show up at a convent. The mother superior answers the door and says, "Sure, and what can I do for you, my wee friends?"

The first leprechaun says, "Well, I'm terribly sorry to bother you sister, but can you tell me, are there any leprechaun nuns in all of Ireland?"

The mother superior thinks it over, and says, "No, no, my wee friend, there are no leprechaun nuns in all of Ireland!"

The first leprechaun says, "Oh! Well then, can you tell me, are there any leprechaun nuns in all of Europe?"

The mother superior thinks it over, and says, "No, no my wee friend, there are no leprechaun nuns in all of Europe."

The first leprechaun says, "Oh! Well then, can you tell me sister, are there any leprechaun nuns in the whole wide world?"

The mother superior thinks it over, and says, "No, I'm sorry my wee friend, there are no leprechaun nuns anywhere in the whole wide world!"

The first leprechaun turns to the second leprechaun and says, "You see, I told you that you fucked a penguin!"

True Story? - Australian police report:

A company takes out a newspaper advertisement claiming to be able to supply imported hard core pornographic videos. As their prices seem reasonable, people place orders and make payments via check.

After several weeks, the company writes back explaining that under the present law they are unable to supply the materials and do not wish to be prosecuted. So they return their customers' money in the form of company checks. However, due to the name of the company, few people ever bother to present these to their banks. The name of the company is: 'The Anal Sex and Fetish Perversion Company."

Tom the Drunk

Tom walks out of a bar, stumbling back and forth with a key in his hand. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches.

"Can I help you, fella?" asks the cop.

"Yesssh, ssshombody stole my car!" Tom replies.

The cop asks, "Okay, where was your car the last time you saw it?"

"It was at the end of this key!" Tom replies.

At this point the cop looks down to see that Tom's penis is hanging out of his trousers.

The cop asks Tom, "Hey buddy, are you aware that you're exposing yourself?"

Tom looks down sadly and moans,

"OHHH GOD...they got my girlfriend too!!"