Animal Jokes

I post this joke not because I think it is terribly funny, but because I see so many "lions" online, many of whom contact me.

The Lion Joke

The trembling monkey said, "You are, mighty lion!"

The lion, satisfied, proudly stepped away.

Later, the lion confronted a wildebeest and fiercely bellowed, "Who is the mightiest of all jungle animals?"

The terrified wildebeest stammered, "Oh great lion, you are by far the mightiest animal in the jungle!"

With this, the lion ambled off, feeling good.

Ahead, he spied an elephant.

On a roll now, the lion swaggered up to the elephant and roared, "Who is the mightiest of all jungle animals?"

Fast as lightning, the elephant snatched up the lion with his trunk, slammed him against a nearby tree half a dozen times, slammed him to the turf, then proceeded to stomp him flat.

Finished, the elephant then ambled away.

Upon recovering consciousness, the lion let out a moan of pain, lifted his head weakly and croaked,

"Geez, just because you didn't know the answer, you didn't have to get so pissed off!"
 
 

An observation...

If you can get going without pep pills,

If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,

If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,

If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it,

If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,

If you can overlook it when those you love take it out on you when, through no fault of yours, something goes wrong,

If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,

If you can ignore a friend's limited education and never correct him,

If you can resist treating a rich friend better than a poor friend,

If you can face the world without lies and deceit,

If you can conquer tension without medical help,

If you can relax without liquor,

If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,

If you can say honestly that deep in your heart you have no prejudice against creed, color, religion or politics,

Then, my friend, you are as good as your dog.