Costello: Hey, Abbott!Abbott: Yes, Lou?
Costello: I just got my first computer!Abbott: That's great Lou. What did you get?
Costello: A Pentium 533, with 64 Mb of RAM, a 15 Gb hard drive, and a DVD drive.Abbott: That's terrific, Lou.
Costello: But I don't know what any of it means!Abbott: You will in time.
Costello: That's exactly why I am here to see you.Abbott: Oh?
Costello: I heard that you are a real computer expert.Abbott: Well, I don't know...
Costello: Yes-sir-ee. You know your stuff. And you're going to train me.Abbott: Really?
Costello: Uh huh. I am here for my first lesson.Abbott: O.K. Lou. What do want to know?
Costello: I am having no problem turning my computer on, but I heard that you should be very careful how you turn it off.Abbott: That's true.
Costello: So, let's say I am working on my new computer and I want to turn it off. What do I do?Abbott: Well, first you click on the "Start" button, and then ...
Costello: No, I said, I already am working on my computer, and I want to turn it off.Abbott: I know; like I said, you press the "Start" button ...
Costello: Wait a second! I want to turn it off. I know how to start it. So tell me what to do.Abbott: I did.
Costello: When?Abbott: When I told you to press the "Start" button.
Costello: Why should I press the "Start" button?Abbott: To shut off the computer.
Costello: (rolling eyes) You are trying to tell me I press "Start" to stop???Abbott: Well "Start" doesn't actually stop the computer.
Costello: I knew that! So what do I press?Abbott: "Start."
Costello: Start what?Abbott: The "Start" button.
Costello: Start button to do what?Abbott: Shut down.
Costello: You don't have to get rude!Abbott: No, no, no! That's not what I meant.
Costello: Then say what you mean!Abbott: To shut down the computer, press...
Costello: Don't say, "Start!"Abbott: Then what do you want me to say?
Costello: Look, if I want to turn off the computer, I am willing to press the "Stop" button, the "End" button and "Cease and Desist" button, but no one in their right mind presses "Start" to stop.Abbott: But that's what you have to do.
Costello: Wait a minute. Its the year 2000, right?Abbott: Right.
Costello: And there was this book that predicted that by 1984, "War" would mean "Peace" and Big Brother would redefine all the words into NewSpeak, right?Abbott: Right, but that was just a novel. It never happened.
Costello: I think it did....
Costello: I am "starting" this conversation right now. Good-bye!
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